Conker Wiki

[Title card, then we cut to Conker walking in a hallway, he has a piece of paper with him which reads (each paragraph underlined:

The Joy of Brewing.


Instructor: Bud Wisenheimer

Room 127.

Conker soon looks up and believes he has found it and walks right in, unknowingly to him, he's walked into room 121. Room 127 is a few doors up, uh oh. The room's already full of students including a large nerdy grey female squirrel in thick glasses and bobbed haircut and a tall lanky male, all tied up and in handcuffs, sporting a small brown haircut, Conker makes his seat between them both.]

Conker: Do you think we'll get to do a little taste test when this is over maybe? [The female student scowls and the male gasps anxiously.]

[As the students watch, in comes the teacher, an attractive tall grey female chipmunk in a red strapless dress and blonde hair tied in a high ponytail, basically resembling Berri, even her hair scrunchie is red. She places some equipment down in front of her, Conker then turns to face the camera.]

Conker: She sure doesn't look like the Bud Wisenheimer I remember.

Teacher: (with a bit of a mellow Irish brogue) Hello, my name is Gloria Hyman. Thanks for coming to this gender sensitivity workshop. I hope by the end of this hour we can all walk away, having gained some valuable insights into gender roles.

Conker: [turns to face the camera again, voice down] Oh no, I'm in the wrong class.Should I just leave?

[Gloria tugs down on a rolling blind, revealing a picture of a female figure in her underwear, she pulls out a fold-able stick, pointing and landing it on the breasts of the image.]

Gloria: Can anyone tell me what these are called?

Conker: [to the camera under his breath] Heck, this could be interesting after all. For the hour!

Gloria: Anyone? How about you? [Points to Conker, he's surprised and points to himself as if to say "Me?"] Yes? what do you call these? [taps on the picture once]

Conker: Uhm...eerr...well, [scoffs], boobs?

Gloria: No.

Conker: Right, what about hooters?

Gloria: No, those words show lack of respect for women's bodies. Now seriously, what should we call these? [she's stood up tall with her arms folded waiting for an answer from Conker]

Conker: [sheepish]...jugs? [grins nervously]

[Spiral iris later on in the session, Conker's chair is parked in front of Gloria.]

Gloria: Now, let's say a man and a woman go out for working lunch. [her voice echos as Conker focuses staring at Gloria's breasts in front of him, he's obviously attracted to her.] They're walking next to one another and when they reach the restaurant door, [back to normal] it isn't obvious who's in the best position to open the door.

Conker: [to the camera] O-kay, I'm gonna get something right. I think she's warming up to me.

Gloria: Who should open the door? Conker, do you have any ideas?

Conker: Erm, I'd say the guy, that's the polite thing to do anyway.

Gloria: But isn't that perpetuating to gender stereotype that always places women in the subordinate role?

Conker: [he's clueless] Huh?

Gloria: Why shouldn't the woman open the door?

Conker: Okay, the woman should open the door?

Gloria: [frustrated] So we throw common courtesy out of the window!

Conker: Aaw, I give up!

[Spiral iris yet again...moments later]

Gloria: Thanks for coming. I especially to want to thank our very brave and very cute friend Conker. I'm sure you all agreed that he added a fresh perspective to this workshop. [She beckons with a come hither position with her finger] Conker, can I have a word with you? [Conker walks over, Gloria says this rather flirtatiously] I think you need a little "one on one sensitivity training", interested?

Conker: My place or yours? [Gloria lines up sideways placing her hand out and Conker takes it, iris readying out and staying onto Conker] You know, sometimes, life's little mistakes turn out so well.

[Iris out, a large smooch is heard]