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Carl and Quentin are gray cogs that first appeared in Conker's Bad Fur Day, and later in its remake Conker: Live & Reloaded, where they got a yellow/golden redesign. Carl and Quentin are considered the same person with split personalities, one being an ill-mannered and swearing 'commoner' type who smokes a stogy, while the other personality smokes a cigarette on a cigarette holder and has a polite attitude and posh voice. When Conker first meets him, he questions why everyone is so offensive in the area (referring to the amount of foul language in the game).

Carl appears in the Bat's Tower chapter, where he is met in the The Bat's Tower. He is found on a wooden stump on a wall, which is nearby the much larger Mr. Big Cog. When Conker first meets him, Carl tells him to either bring him back his missing cogs, or feck off. Conker demands for Carl to not shout while annoyed at his uncouth behavior, with Carl rudely citing deafness as an excuse and demanding he speak up or else feck off. Conker then notices that the cog can be spun around to reveal his "other half" Quentin, who then properly explains Carl's request before reverting back to Carl, who then demands for Conker not to do that again while angrily calling him a twat before once again demanding rudely that Conker feck off. Conker agrees to retrieve the three female cogs back, which are in the underground sewer. Upon getting the first female cog, he then expresses ecstasy, only to get annoyed when Conker switches it around upon realizing that he may have it on wrong (implying that he likes to give fellatios to the female cogs). When they are all put back on their posts, Conker then spins on a stone wheel, which makes all five cogs spin, and the force of the spinning throws Carl off his post. The Red, Green, and Blue cogs then exact their revenge on Carl by beating him up. He is then placed on Mr. Big Cog's nose. Carl then switches to Quentin, who states that he finds the situation "rather delicious", alluding to his alleged homosexuality. Quentin then thanks Conker for all of the work he has done, and states that his little problem outside has been thoroughly taken care of.


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WARNING: The following article or section contains Swearing and/or Foul Language. Please read at your own risk.

First meeting:

  • Carl: "Fuck off!"
  • Conker: "Why it everyone else so offensive round here?"
  • Carl: "Either bring me back me missing cogs, or fuck off!"
  • Conker: "You don't have to shout."
  • Carl: "I'm deaf! Speak up or fuck off!"
  • Conker: "Hang on a sec!" (Turns Carl's face around to Quentin's face)
  • Quentin: "Well, hello. Aren't you the handsome one? Tell me, would you be prepared to do me a small favor? For a little help of course"
  • Conker: "Hi, and yes, I would. Maybe."
  • Quentin: "You see, my other self has lost a few of his, shall we say, friends, and if you don't get them back, my life will be a misery. It already is."
  • Conker: "And?"
  • Quentin: "Just get them back. There's a good fellow. Oh! Ta ta! Ta ta!" (changes to Carl)

When putting first cog on:

  • Carl: "Ey up, bloody hell. Put it on quick. Put it on, I like it like that. Ooooooh! Aaahhhhh! Fan- fucking -tastic!"
  • Conker: "Oh, hang on. I think I got it on the wrong way round."
  • Carl: "Like bugger you have! What ya doing? What... Oh crap!"

When putting second cog on:

  • Carl: "Yeah, go on! Get t'other one on."

When putting last cog on:

  • Carl: "Thanks, shithead. Now go on, piss off with ya!

After starting the machinery:

  • Conker: "I gotta get off this thing!"
  • Carl: "Whoa-whoa-whoa!"
  • [Carl is flown off and lands on his back]
  • Carl: "Twatting shite! That's tossed it right up the arse!"
  • Leftmost lady cog: "I do declare, ladies, we are free at last to exact our revenge on that evil cog. Grab him!" (Audible sounds of Carl being beaten up, along with Conker wincing at them doing so. Sometime later, Carl wakes up)
  • Carl: "Oh no! Not Mr. Big Cog! That's me buggered."
  • Conker: "(It certainly is.)"
  • Carl: "I'm out of here." (Changes to Quentin)
  • Quentin: "I say, I don't know what his problem is. I find it rather delicious. Thank you, Mr. Squirrel."
  • Conker: "Oh! My pleasure."
  • Quentin: "Yes, and I think you'll find your little problem outside has been thoroughly taken care of."
  • Conker: "Oh, cool!"
  • Quentin: "Now, good day to you, sir."
  • Conker: "Toffee-nosed snob!"
  • Lady Cog: "Why, Thank you, Mr. Squirrel." (Giving Conker a wet kiss) "Come on ladies. It's the Caribbean for us." (other lady cogs follow carrying suitcases)